Virgo Season is underway from August 23 to September 22, 2018 as the Sun hunkers down in the virgin's decorous domain. Time to Kon Mari your sock drawer, Google every minor ache, scrub down all surfaces with industrial-strength anti-bacterial spray…right? Well, no. While Virgo energy can be discerning and systematic, it is one of the most deeply misunderstood members of the zodiac. In honour of this star sign's highest vibration, we are donning the metaphorical rubber gloves and cleaning up the cosmic smear campaign.
First of all…
Virgos Are Not Boring
A mutable sign ruled by messenger Mercury, Virgos are indomitable trivia hounds. With their intrepid minds, they've read more than enough to be dangerous, which in turn makes them some of the best conversational freestylers out there. And thanks to their journalistic curiosity, they have a gift for drawing the juiciest details out of everyone they meet. Be careful, because you might wind up spilling your most sordid stories to them just because you happened to settle down beside them at the bar.
Your Virgo Season Takeaway: Sharpen up your conversational game by curating news feeds, attending cultural events, reading and researching until you're bubbling over with so many fun facts that people want to record your pro tips mid-dialogue.
Virgos Are Not Cheap...
...but they do hate to waste. Wedged between Taurus and Capricorn, Virgo is the middle earth sign, responsible for the mysterious alchemy that turns a seed into a blossoming plant—or that "junk" you donated to the thrift shop into an upcycled treasure.
Your Virgo Season Takeaway: Source sustainably for goods and invest in lasting quality. Shop ethical fashion brands, organize clothing swaps, check out consignment sites. Consider having pieces tailored before rushing to replace them.
Virgos Are Not Neat Freaks
Virgos care about cleanliness and the environment (we know one who carries a metal straw in her purse) and they can be a tad germophobic too. Don't take it personally if they wipe down glasses and silverware before eating in your home; it's just their thing. But they're hardly minimalists. When a Virgo gets into something—a Netflix series, a new hobby, wearing bike shorts—the passion can turn into an obsession. And that can turn into a hot mess of half-opened Prime boxes and flea market impulse grabs.
The savvy Virgo becomes a master of shelving solutions. True to zodiac form, Virgo Karl Lagerfeld is a voracious reader who has collected enough books to build a floor-to-ceiling home library—one that requires a catwalk to reach the upper shelves. The books are laid sideways so Lagerfeld doesn't have to tilt his head to read the titles.
Virgo Season Takeaway: Create savvy storage and display systems for your treasured "stuff and things." Opt for both open and closed shelving to avoid getting overwhelmed by your collections.
Virgos Are Not "Basic"
While certain Virgos may present as straight-laced, do not be fooled by the pressed slacks and wrinkle-free white tees. Some of the most eccentric works have sprung from the minds of people born under this star sign. From what mystical portal did Virgo Roald Dahl pluck James and his giant peach, or Veruca Salt, the spoiled golden ticket holder who was dragged from Willy Wonka's chocolate factory by a dray of squirrels?
Let's talk about Virgo auteur Tim Burton, who blessed us with Edward Scissorhands and Beetlejuice. Or Virgo chanteuse Amy Winehouse, whose whisky-soaked vocals left us with the legacy that is Back To Black. (Fun astro-trivia: Virgo Mark Ronson came up with the hook for Rehab, while Virgo, Nas, whom Amy long-admired, was the real deal Mr. Jones of Me and Mr. Jones.)
Your Virgo Season Takeaway: Channel your "eccentric" ideas into a creative outlet and fly your freak flag with pride.
Virgos Are Not Prudes
Yes, there may be topics that make a Virgo blush, but don't get it twisted: Being born under the sign of the virgin does not doom this star sign to a life of chastity and celibacy. Virgos are actually the semi-secret freaks of the zodiac. Their allure lies in their ability to flip the switch from "sweet and innocent" to total sex symbol and back again. Take, for instance, Virgo queen Beyoncé, whose public profile is a pastiche of girl-next-door cuteness (denim shorts and braids) and straight-to-cam fierceness (bodysuits and thigh-high glitter boots).
But here's where Virgos can be virtuous. Like Mrs. Carter, their sexual nature tends to blossom within the context of a traditional, monogamous relationship. (Cigars on ice, cigars on ice...) For this sign, the honeymoon phase begins when commitment gets real, and they'll do everything in their power to keep it sexy for the long haul.
Of course, Virgos have their ethical edges—and if they cross them, there will be guilt and self-flagellation, as was, perhaps the case for Virgo Fiona Apple, who confessed her "sins" in the 90s-powered Criminal video while writhing around on the green-shag rug of a party den.
Virgo Season Takeaway: Create a safe space for exploring your sexuality by clearly defining the agreements of relationships (monogamous or not).
Virgos Do Not Play It Safe
Virgos can be polite and they aren't exactly gunning for a conflict. But when an issue strikes their humanitarian hearts, their Mercury-ruled eloquence rises strong. The #MeToo movement has been powered by courageous Virgos, from Rose McGowan to Salma Hayek, who penned an op-ed about the abuse she suffered at the hands of Harvey Weinstein that was published in the New York Times.
Virgo Season Takeaway: Don't hold in your words when you know it's time to take a stand.
Virgos Aren't Really Judging You...
They just have clear opinions about basically everything. Virgo is the friend who will tell you, "girl...no" instead of letting you drop a pay check on an unflattering outfit. But that doesn't mean they will shame you for your so-called flaws. Their critical eyes can be a gift if you don't take their honesty personally. Sure they may serve up some tough love, like Virgos Dr. Phil and comedian Dave Chappelle, but in the process, they might also offer you an uncensored tell-all of their struggles and demons in the process. Or at least satirize them through a series of insanely hilarious characters a la Virgo comedic genius Amy Poehler.
So go on...open up and tell the Virgos what's really going on in your life. And don't worry that they'll think less of you. After all, it was Virgo Mother Teresa who said, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
This story first appeared on ELLE.com.
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