“Right now it’s back on, but it could be off again in an hour,” says a source close to Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik, in reference to their brief split earlier this month. The recurring pattern of breaking up, making up and getting back together with the same person is a familiar one to most – but what makes the never-ending cycle so ubiquitous? Here are some reasons why you may find yourself stuck in an on-again-off-again relationship.
1. You’re scared of being alone
If you’re not comfortable with the thought of being alone (for an unknown period of time), you’ll be tempted to hold on to the false sense of security that you have with your partner – even when you know that things are fizzling out.
2. You think that he’s the best you’ll ever have
You know you deserve more, but you’ll take what you can get. And even if it’s not enough, it feels better to have something rather than nothing at all.
3. You have selective memory
Every time you end the relationship, you start remembering how good it was at the beginning, and how in love you were… that you end up together again.
4. Things aren’t working out with the new guy
Starting over is hard. It’s especially tough if things aren’t working out with the new person you’re seeing – and it may make you want to go back to your ex.
5. You’re excited by the idea of rekindling an old flame
Why else would you be looking forward to going to places where he's likely to show up? The moment he’s no longer yours is the moment you start wanting him again.
6. You secretly like drama
Maybe it’s the passionate make-up sex. Or the thrill of really getting to someone that gives you the power to hurt them. But there’s something that draws you to drama, and you can’t help but want more.
7. You’ve got your head in the clouds
The main ingredient for on-again-off-again relationships? Unrealistic hope. Hope that your partner will change, that the situation will get better, and that everything will be magically good again like it once was.
8. You’re too sentimental
You can’t bear to end it for real because you want him to continue liking you – even if you don’t feel the same about him anymore.