As if claustrophobia, bad food, cramped legroom and narrow aisles aren’t torturous enough, now there’s a new reason to dread flying the friendly skies.
Leading airline seat manufacturer Zodiac Seats France – which counts Singapore Airlines amongst its clients – has filed a patent for a radical, space-saving design that, if implemented, will quickly reduce cattle class to sardine class.
Designed with a hexagonal grid formation, kind of like a honeycomb, the dreaded middle seat will be rotated 180 degrees to face the opposite direction. The seats also look smaller and less comfortable.
We’re SO not enthused – and here’s why you shouldn’t be, either.
1. It will be impossible not to have eye contact with a fellow passenger
Already, it can be tiresome having the obligatory chat with the person sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with you. If this design becomes reality, there’ll be no escaping from pretending your fellow passengers don’t exist, because they’ll literally be inches from your face.
2. You’ll have reduced accessibility to your seat
This will be a very real problem. And as difficult as it will be to get to your seat and settle down comfortably, you’ll have an even bigger problem going to the bathroom. We already predict having to clamber over laps to get anywhere, should a fellow traveller pass out in his seat from one too many vodka tonics.
3. You’ll be forced to play unwanted games of footsie with your neighbours
The proposed design is paradise for perves – just think how easy it will be to “accidentally” brush the hand of the person next to you or engage in footsie.
4. Other people’s bad breath = your breathing space
Good luck trying not to asphyxiate before landing – especially if you’re in the middle seat.
5. You’ll be privy to gross dining and movie-watching habits
Imagine having to watch the person opposite you shovel food into his or her mouth, or cackle along to the movie he’s watching. Bye bye, sleep.
Needless to say, if the design ever gets implemented, we’re starting a protest. Join us?