It’s Time To Revise Your Dating Strategy

Dating coach Ben Alexander shares how you can claim the advantage in the new playing field.

In what ways has the dating game changed?
It has certainly come a long way especially with the introduction of dating apps such as Tinder. Never before has online dating been so quick, simple and cheap (or free). You have hundreds of potential dates at your fingertips so long as you have a data connection.

It’s 2015, what are the rules anyway?
The fundamental rules of attraction remain as strong as ever, even if they are now being conveyed electronically. In my experience, a lack of social consequences will always help things to get hot and heavy a lot faster. We all have desires we want to indulge but often our fear of judgement or social reprisal causes us to hold ourselves back.

What new phenomenons have you observed?
People very rarely call each other anymore in a new dating venture. Most communication is done via text messaging. Some will even freak out if you called instead of texting them. I actually advise clients to only call if it’s been pre-arranged or until they are more familiar with the other person.

Stop your man-repelling ways

Wearing too much makeup, nagging and whining are just some of the ways in which you could unknowingly be turning men off. Ben Alexander points out other things to note:


1. Exhibiting insecure behaviour such as getting him to “un-friend” other women on social media, or asking why he hasn’t changed his relationship status yet.

2. Moving in on his world too soon, like leaving things at his place before he offers.

3. Making plans for him without consulting him and just assuming that he’d be cool with it. 


1. Be comfortable with your sexuality. A woman who knows how to flirt is more attractive than a prettier woman who is too serious.

2. Be attractive, not just in the physical sense. Be so pleasant, feminine, positive and happy when he’s with you that no other woman can compare.

3. Help men with conversation when you first meet them. It takes a lot of emotional energy and bravery for some guys to approach women so reward them.

Get more tips in the September issue of ELLE Singapore. 

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